April 24, 2020: As the pandemic ground on people were starting to show the signs of many different stressors. From online schooling, to scarcity in the supermarket, to being told to wear a mask and limit contact, everyone was feeling stressed. Some folks were better equipped to handle the pandemic. Others were certainly not. By acknowledging the stress, and giving it a name, leaders remind individuals that we are all experiencing the same stress. And to get beyond it we must be kind.
Being in command is the most challenging and rewarding tour of a military career. My last US Coast Guard tour was as both Commander, Sector Columbia River and Commanding Officer, Air Station Astoria. I was in command from June 2018 to August 2021 and it was during this tour that the Covid-19 pandemic struck. As we all know it changed our lives in the most fundamental of ways.
While many companies were able to adopt a remote work strategy, the Armed Forces were required to continue to provide in-person response services while moving non-mission critical activities to a remote environment. While we continued to operate in siloed teams, the unit could no longer meet all together, in person. I recognized I would need to find another way to connect with my over 500 unit members.
I would need to find a new way to communicate. Leading without meeting, establishing a connection and creating a common bond with each of the over 500 members, was my new challenge. How was I going to lead without being able to meet in person? I took to the written word to not only communicate professional updates but also to connect with members on a personal level.
These thoughts were on my mind when I wrote the following to my unit.
April, 24 2020: Call me Ishmael
Call me Ishmael.
Or not; it could get awkward. But what follows those three words, in what I still feel was a not good book and even worse movie, is some truly remarkable TMI-level stuff especially considering it was penned in 1851. I know, Bob Dylan credited Mellvile’s monster novel with influencing his work. But neither Bob Dylan nor my Freshman English teacher could persuade me that Moby-Dick was worth reading. I was reading my daughter’s essay the other day and she took to Twitter to say, ‘my dad is reading my analysis and muttering about passive voice while he rocks back and forth, I’d like to go home now.’ The soon-to-be 15 year old must have received a notification because he peaks his head from under his blanket (he is bundled on the couch playing his 3DS because apparently it is cold in the house) and says, “Dad, you’re not a teacher.” Huh, what? I snap back, “Am too! I’m a teacher of life lessons, son. Is your homework complete?” “Yeah, Dad, I finished the week’s assignments on Monday,” he says as he returns to his cocoon. Not to be outdone, I come back with a quick, “Have you even left the house today?” With a lot of huffing and puffing, he comes out from under the blanket and off the couch, walks out the front door, does an about-face back into the house, clumps back up on the couch and, as he covers himself with the blanket, I hear a muffled, “sheesh.” I feel vindicated. My teaching services were required.
Soon-to-be 15 year old son has a birthday this weekend. This is my family’s second birthday since Stay at Home became a thing. About a month ago the 18 year old had a birthday and his sister baked a cake. This was the seminal event for the whole flour situation. She used a mix because the flour had been used to make brownies right before the cake. Well, for whatever reason the cake’s center didn’t bake so it was more like a clam chowder cake bowl. She scooped out the not-cooked part, baked it some more, and make it into a donut cake. She then filled the center with the aforementioned brownies and covered them with copious amounts of frosting. It wasn’t the best cake we’ve ever had but it was darn tasty. Cooking is a life skill.
I taught my kids how to cook those last years in Mobile. But I’ve come to learn I may have overestimated how successful those lessons had been. My boys can boil water, and therefore cook food in boiling water. They can use an oven to bake a frozen lasagna or meatballs. And, they’ve learned how to scramble an egg. That last one makes me less comfortable. Several times I’ve come home and, walking past a lit stove burner, had to ask, “Hey, how long has it been since you cooked breakfast?” There was also that time in Mobile when I came home from the store and had to evacuate the house because it smelled like natural gas (Gee, we thought something smelled funny but just figured it was okay). Since they’re home all day they now get to cook dinner. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, I no longer had to rush home from work to throw dinner together before two ravished teenage boys descended upon me. Its still a good idea; one has to be willing to crack a few eggs when baking a cake. So far my son has learned to drain frozen shrimp after they defrost, or dinner will taste ‘of the sea.’ He also cooked garlic spaghetti which was aptly described by his older brother as stuffing spaghetti. I think the bread crumbs got doubled. The older boy decided he wanted Wing Wednesday. The instant pot reduced the cook time, but they did not meet expectations based on the recipe description. So, I now own an air fryer. Last night my daughter cooked asparagus in it. They did not meet expectations based on the recipe description. Clearly, we will be improving upon our cooking life skill.
Another life skill, being tested every day for the last two months, is our ability to adapt. Call it what you want, the Coast Guard chooses Resiliency, but our adaptability is being tested every day. I’m doing my best to adapt for the unit, my family, and my friends. The world is a mean enough place, we don’t need to add to it. So I encourage all of us to continue to adapt, practice kindness, and be deliberate in our interactions and give one another the benefit of the doubt. We are adapting and society will as well. In the meantime- get plenty of rest, eat nutritious meals, exercise, and call your Mom!
You know what else is a life skill? Loading the dishwater. I once asked, “Why are there dirty dishes on the counter?” When the 18 year old answered, “Because there are clean ones in the dishwasher,” I realized I had been beaten and got myself a drink.
Happy Thirsty Thursday on PowerPoint Friday!
With admiration, gratitude, and yet ANOTHER week of optimism (that is a P.R. for me, by the way),
your Sector Commander